Tomorrow is a major date in the finalization process for our adoption. This is when publishing ends for the birth father. I may not have mentioned this before, but we do not have any any information on this man. We do not know if he is young or old. We do not know his race (this is the big question we all have because of Macrina's dark skin tone). The birth mother did not reveal anything about him. By law, we had to publish in local newspapers for the last thirty days. This is a last ditch effort for the birth father to use his rights as a biological parent. On Wednesday, this personal ad will be published for the last time. If he does not show up in court or contact the judge. he automatically loses his rights. It is a sad situation for Macrina. I was watching a DATELINE special a couple of nights ago on a birth father who did not know he was a birth father. Once he found out he was a father, he sued to have custody of the baby a year later (even though his rights had be terminated). I feel an ounce of guilt that Macrina's birth father may not even know she exists. Macrina's birth mother did not even know that she gave birth to a daughter. This is what we call in the adoption world a completely closed adoption. There is one more potential birth father, yet it is looking like a dead end road.
That brings us to the service plan. Our agency helps us set up a plan for Macrina's future. We have to read several books on topics ranging from prenatal drug use to attachment issues in adoption. We have to write a book review of each book. Then we have to set-up a trans racial plan for Macrina. This is where things get tricky. It is obvious that Macrina is not fully Caucasian. We just do not know what race she is. Somehow we have to develop a plan to celebrate her ethnic race, yet nobody is sure what that race is. This is going to be tough for Macrina to deal with someday. We all have the question: who am I? Macrina may never know a major part of her life story. There will be just a void always sitting there in her heart.
As part of the service plan, we have to address substance abuse used by the birth mother. There was substance abuse by the mother, but this is not the time and place to talk about specifics. We are filled with optimism, yet cautious about issues that may come up later.
The best part of the service plan is that we get to put together a Life Book. This is a scrapbook that recalls her life from the beginning. Maureen has already started the Life Book and I know that it will be a special part of Macrina's life as she gets older.
So here we go. Finalization is within our sights. We are so close.
That brings us to the service plan. Our agency helps us set up a plan for Macrina's future. We have to read several books on topics ranging from prenatal drug use to attachment issues in adoption. We have to write a book review of each book. Then we have to set-up a trans racial plan for Macrina. This is where things get tricky. It is obvious that Macrina is not fully Caucasian. We just do not know what race she is. Somehow we have to develop a plan to celebrate her ethnic race, yet nobody is sure what that race is. This is going to be tough for Macrina to deal with someday. We all have the question: who am I? Macrina may never know a major part of her life story. There will be just a void always sitting there in her heart.
As part of the service plan, we have to address substance abuse used by the birth mother. There was substance abuse by the mother, but this is not the time and place to talk about specifics. We are filled with optimism, yet cautious about issues that may come up later.
The best part of the service plan is that we get to put together a Life Book. This is a scrapbook that recalls her life from the beginning. Maureen has already started the Life Book and I know that it will be a special part of Macrina's life as she gets older.
So here we go. Finalization is within our sights. We are so close.
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