In These Places

Our Baby Girl is Already Three (months) Old

2012-01-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

This parenting thing is nuts. You blink and your newborn is already three months old. We received an e-mail yesterday from our lawyer. It turns out that our final court date to finalize has been moved to later in March. We are not worried at all. At this point, it took us two years to be matched with Macrina. What is another month or two? Here are some pictures of Macrina at three months. The other baby is the son of Mareen's friend:

10 Things Youth Workers Over 30 Should Never Do (The Murtaugh List)

2012-01-26T10:34:00.000-08:00

I was inspired watching a famous episode of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER last week. It is the MURTAUGH episode inspired by the famous detective played by Danny Glover in the LETHAL WEAPON movies. He is famous for saying over and over again: "I am too old for this stuff (but he doesn't use the word stuff)." The character of Barney tries to prove to his friends that he can do all these things on the list that people over 30 are not supposed to do. So here is my Murtaugh list for youth workers over 30 years old:

10.   No more late night pranks
9.     No unusual piercings
8.     No sleeping on the floor of a church without an air mattress of some kind
7.     No more wrestling with students
6.     No more car stereo systems with sub woofers
5.     No more skinny jeans
4.     No more frosted tips or bleached hair (if you still have hair)
3.     No all-nighters
2.     No answering the phone from students after 10pm
1.     Never accept dares from students (especially when it comes to eating)

10 Common Misconceptons Debunked

2012-01-24T23:34:00.000-08:00

It is a late night after a Blazer home win. There are all sorts of random things that I can post tonight. I could talk about adoption lawyers, how much I can't stand the shooting of Jamaal Crawford, or the obnoxious fans who start the wave at games. Instead, I think we will discuss these common misconceptions from the folks at the Grey Channel. Enjoy!

Adoption Tax Credit

2012-01-23T21:43:00.000-08:00

Now that we are headed to a final date in court to finalize this adoption, there are a couple of these we still have to work on. First of all, we still have to develop an adoption plan with our agency. This is made up of interviews, book reports, and all kinds of odds and ends. There are other things we have to figure out. One of the perks of adoption is the tax refund that has been available to families since 1997. As I have mentioned in an earlier post, it can cost well over $30,000 to adopt domestically. If we were able to adopt in 2001, we would have received a tax refund over $13,000. That would have been nice. In 2012, the refund is no longer a refund. It is more of a credit that a family receives when you must pay taxes. This credit is still substantial ($12, 650). Whatever is not used in 2012 can be used for the next five years until the time runs out or the credit runs out. Some families do not qualify because they make too much money. We will qualify this year. It helps so many people who want to adopt, yet do not want to put themselves under financial stress. There are many people out there who are working closely with state and federal reps to keep this credit available. So here is your little adoption tax credit speech.

Oh Yeah, Macrina...

2012-01-21T06:38:00.000-08:00

I haven't been updating about the baby. Well, where do I start? Macrina weighs over 10 pounds and is overall healthy. She will be three months old next week. She growing up so fast. Much to the joy of her parents, she is sleeping through the night on a regular basis already. It will be any day and she is going to start laughing. She does talk to herself a bunch. Maureen is still a stay at home mom until the end of March and she is loving it.
In regards to finalizing the adoption, we have an appointment in court on March 2nd up in Vancouver, WA. That could be the last step we need to officially call her "daughter." Here are some recent pictures taken over the last two weeks:

Every Presentation In One Presentation

2012-01-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

I have heard this presentation at conferences, seminary, and in preaching. I have made this presentation myself. The template for presenting information to an audience has become dull and predictable. The reaction of the audience has become just as predictable.

Enjoying The Show

2012-01-17T17:47:00.000-08:00

Last night, we watched one of the great movies of 2011, MONEYBALL. It is the interesting story of Billy Beane, the general manager of baseball's Oakland A's. In 2011, Beane developed an innovative system of picking up productive players without spending much money. Like many movies about baseball, MONEYBALL is about so much more than baseball. It is the story of a father and daughter. Beane throughout the movie gets a chance to walk away from all the pressures of his job to spend time with his only child who is twelve in the movie.Through all the pressures of building a winning sports franchise, Beane learns an important lesson: ENJOY THE SHOW! MONEYBALL is less about baseball and money as much as it is about loving the process. Enjoying the opportunities we have day in and day out to succeed. We are always looking at the finish line (even when we don't know what and where that is). Youth ministry is no different. We are looking for the top of mountain to come soon. Maybe several students will give their hearts to Jesus. Maybe thirty kids will show up at a youth group. Maybe they will throw a celebration in your honor. Maybe you will write a best-selling book about youth ministry (this is not possible). Meanwhile, we miss the little things that make this calling so enjoyable. It is the car rides, singing at the top of your lungs with students. It is playing X-Box all night. It is laughter and tears. These moments are more special than we ever realize. They are part of the Show. You never know how long the Show will last. Today is here to enjoy. I think the Bible said a thing or two about living for the day and the moment. As I head into the twilight of my calling, I will consider more upon these things.

The Real Tim Tebow

2012-01-13T09:29:00.000-08:00

It is funny how everybody knows the name TIM TEBOW. Your mailman, your grandma, and your pastor all have mentioned the name TIM TEBOW. Some talk about his heroics with the Denver Broncos. Some talk about his lack of throwing ability with a football. Some talk about his pose in prayer to his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Other criticize him for his overt Christian faith. Not since Tiger Woods and the disintegration of his marriage, has a sports figure received so much attention from all corners of culture. Not a day passes on any single sports radio show in America without mention of Tim Tebow. There have been days that I have grown sick of all the Tebow talk, let alone sick of Tebow himself. I wonder: how does a guy like this get away with all this success? As a Christian, I have not made that personal connection with him. I still have a middle school student who loves to mention that when Tebow was in the womb there was a chance that he may have been aborted. I think that misses the point entirely. What I do know (and have read about time and time again) is that Tebow talks more about others and does more things for others than most professional athletes. He does not want us even to know about all the tickets he has given away to families who have lost loved ones, suffered through heart wrenching surgeries, or are living their last days looking for a ray of hope. Apparently, after the miraculous touchdown last Sunday to beat the Steelers in overtime, Tebow went into the stadium and spent an hour talking with a 16 year old named Bailey about her favorite television shows and the 73 surgeries she has gone through. It looks like Tebow is the real deal. Not the messiah. There are flaws galore. But he is the real deal. It is an amazing example to our young people. Back in the 90's, Charles Barkley used to do a shoe commercial were he said in bold letters to the camera: "I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL." The funny thing is that Tebow could do the same commercial and he would be speaking the truth if he exclamed: "I AM A ROLE MODEL." Of course, Tebow may skip the commercial and do something good for someone else instead. For today, consider me a fan!

One Big Hurdle is Behind Us

2012-01-09T18:47:00.000-08:00

I know that many people have been praying for us as we go through the legal process to officially adopt Macrina. There are two potential birth fathers that need to have their rights terminated. One of the potential birth fathers (actually we are positive he is the father) has not been found through publishing and at a court hearing on Friday his rights were officially terminated. This is the big step we have been waiting for because we are positive this mystery man is her birth father. The judge is making us publish for the husband of the birth mother, even though it is clear to us all that he is not her birth father. On January 30th, they will terminate his potential rights if he does not step forward. This all means that we might be able to finalize the adoption in February. I have not even touched the surface of the service plan that we have to put together for the agency. We have many book reports to write and a plan to stay connected to a community that includes adoptive parents of a trans racial child (if you did not know by now, Macrina is not Caucasian). We will keep you posted.

Becoming Unselfish

2012-01-09T07:40:00.000-08:00

Things change so much when you get married. The world no longer revolves around you. You have new priorities, new responsibilities, and new commitments. It is part of the process of growing up. You become a little less selfish and you make sacrifices for another person. That is one of many reasons why marriage is a major step and is hard. Things change even more when you have children. Follow the same steps from above to come to the conclusion that having children is a major step and is hard. Now that I am a father, I realized even more how selfish I can be with my time. I am not a terrible person. It is just that time is a rich commodity and having children requires time and effort (especially a newborn). There are less walks, less X-Box, less reading, less blogging. Yet there is more snuggling, more first smiles, and more peace and quiet. To build a family is to take steps to be more selfless. That is why my blog has been blank. That is why I have gained a little weight. That is why I am so tired. Having a baby is a wonderful moment that will change your life forever. It is also a chance to grow up and think less of yourself. It is a time to worry less about work and success and more about family and precious time spent together.

The Year in Blogging: Part 4

2011-12-31T08:19:00.000-08:00

OCTOBER:
      The month started with more disappointment with the adoption process. We were thinking of starting all over and counting our losses. I had my largest group ever show up for a ministry day event I set up (42 kids at Kids' Club). It was not that exciting. Throughout the month we worked tirelessly on a mountain of paper work for the new adoption agency. I began to watch the over eleven hours of videos that I am required to watch for training purposes. To make matters worse, the NBA strike threatened to cancel the entire season. On October 24th, I blogged about a baptism we attended for a friend's newborn. Little did we know what the following week would look like. On October 27th, we received a call that we were in the running for a newborn baby girl up in the state of Washington. We were told that we would find out later that night. We did not hear anything...until 12:35 the next day. I received the call that we were going to be parents to our precious daughter, Macrina. We drove up to meet with her and one day later we were driving to my friend's house to stay in the state until the lawyers could get us home. It was a day that will be in our memories forever.

NOVEMBER:
    This was the getting-to-know you month for everybody. Everybody wanted to meet Macrina and Macrina was getting used to us. A few weeks into the month and I was already gone on a retreat for the weekend. We had many family members come over and help out.

DECEMBER:
   We soon realized that finalizing this adoption was going to take a little longer than we liked. It turns out that Macrina has two potential fathers and we have to check in on both for custody. The big news of this month was the announcement of a shortened NBA season starting Christmas Day. The Blazers made some interesting and they started the season 3-0. We flew down to Arizona to spend Christmas with my family. We thought all 8 grandchildren would be together, but my nephew left before we came to spend time with his dad on the East Coast. We will be flying back on New Year's Eve and will land just before the ball drops.

My Most Viewed Post for 2011

2011-12-29T09:02:00.000-08:00

Drum roll please...here is the most viewed post on my blog for 2011 according to statsitics:

THE RISE AND FALL OF FIVE IRON FRENZY- Click HERE.http://in-these-places.blogspot.com/2011/01/rise-and-fall-of-five-iron-frenzy.html

Yeah, it is pretty disappointing.

Year in Blogging: Part 3

2011-12-29T08:56:00.000-08:00

JULY: This was a month dedicated to the 10 anniversary of the Greatest Camp Ever at the Oregon coast. It was a great week for the great staff and all the campers. We also said good-bye to Camp Magruder as we are moving to a new site next year. Oh and I celebrated my 39th birthday with several close friends. Next year is a big one!

AUGUST: We investigated state adoption for about a week. We knew deep in our hearts that this was not the road were going to take. It was a heart wrenching process. On the other hand, another adoption agency contacted our agency because they could not find any Christian couples to meet the demand from birth mothers. This was the beginning of the end of our journey. We ended up with two agencies working with us. We took a short vacation to Colorado to visit friends and to enjoy the beauty of the Rockies. I planned together a reunion for the Greatest Camp Ever and it did not go as well as I had dreamed. It was nice to reconnect with people from my past.

SEPTEMBER: Maureen's parents came to the Northwest to visit after their Alaska cruise. We always have a nice time with them. I beat my father-in-law at golf for the first time. After they left, we faced two different adoption cases, one with each agency. Both stories were a sad reflection of what abuse and drugs can do to a young life. After much thought, we turned down birth cases. I missed several youth sporting events by getting details wrong. I did fix our toilet after several days of trouble shooting. I passed the 700 mile mark in walking this month. I ended up walking over 850 miles for the year.

Year in Blogging: Part 2

2011-12-28T09:19:00.001-08:00

April: The month started with my annual trip to Record Store Day at Everyday Music. I ended up spending a good $40.00 on great music. I continued my goal of walking over 700 miles throughout the year. During April, I walked almost every day in the month. I had a man seeking rental aid tell me that I was going to burn in hell because I called him a con artist. Then there was GAME 4 of the Western Conference playoffs between the Blazers and the Mavericks. It was Maureen's first playoff game and it started out awful. The Blazers were down 21 points going into the fourth quarter. That fourth quarter was one of most magical experiences I have ever had as a sports fan as Brandon Roy took over the game leading the Blazers to victory.
I am forever in debt to my neighbor (who I can't name) that went over and let our dog back in our house after I left the front door open on the house all day. We continued to struggle with the adoption journey as a year passed since a birth mother changed her mind on an adoption with us after the birth. We continued to visit with friends who had children, yet it was becoming more and more of an issue for both of us.

Year in Review: Part One

2011-12-27T09:30:00.001-08:00

Here is a look back at a crazy year in family life and ministry:

JANUARY: We came back from East coast looking ahead to what the newyear had in store. We attended a small training session at the end of the monthabout adoption law with a lawyer we ended up hiring later in the year. Ourrelationship with our first agency began to sour in January and I began toconnect with other families going through the process on their blogs.

FEBRUARY: I attended a leadership retreat in the Gorge and realizedthat our summer camps are making major cutbacks. Our youth group continued totake down tasks on the LIST. We rode the tram and played MINUTE TO WIN IT. Ihad a women try to pray over my bad cholesterol at a youth pastor's luncheon.There was also a snowy forecast for Portland that turned into nothing. Rob Bellreleased LOVE WINS and the theology world was turned upside down.

MARCH: We participated in the 30 Hour Famine and I was too sick tofinish the Famine for the first time in thirteen years. We watched with horroras the tsunami and major earthquake devastated Japan. We had our first adoptioninquiry since December. Maureen injured her head during a youth group game.After some serious blood loss and a trip to the emergency room, she ended upwith nine stitches. My car had a check engine light turn on leading to anightmare car situation costing us over $2,000. We tried to work with a birth motherin Tacoma who turned out to be a little off her rocker and she sent us on anemotional goose chase.

Life, Family, and Christmas

2011-12-25T08:29:00.000-08:00

Our daughter is quite the traveler. She is only 8 weeks old and she has been now been to three states, traveled on a boat, and flown on a plane. Traveling with a baby is like an adventure with Indiana Jones. We embarked on our adventure, leaving the house at 11am for a 1:45 flight. There was a little hang-up at the parking place, as Macrina continued to sleep. Getting through security with a baby (stroller car-seat, baby bag etc.) is like crossing the border. My wife kept telling people: "This is our first time doing this." We figured out right away one perk of having a baby: you get on the plane first with all the elderly. As we sat in our seats on the plane, the man sitting next to my wife looked so concerned. Actually, Macrina slept most of the two hour flight to Arizona. There was a feel of anticipation as we came to meet up with my brother and his wife. My sister-in-law obviously loves babies. For the first couple hours, she did not want to let go of the baby, cooing and oggling each moment. After a delicious dinner with the family, we headed off to the local Lutheran church for a Christmas Eve service. I missed most of the service because Macrina was putting on a show with her bright eyes and waving arms. There is something special about singing AWAY IN A MANGER while holding a 8 week old baby, especially when that child is now yours. It makes me think of what it must have been like that first Christmas night. This day of travel was not perfect but nonetheless special. That first Christmas night was not as perfect was we make it out to be, but it was special. Merry Christmas to all of my friends and family today!

Let the End of the Process Begin

2011-12-20T08:49:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is a major date in the finalization process for our adoption. This is when publishing ends for the birth father. I may not have mentioned this before, but we do not have any any information on this man. We do not know if he is young or old. We do not know his race (this is the big question we all have because of Macrina's dark skin tone). The birth mother did not reveal anything about him. By law, we had to publish in local newspapers for the last thirty days. This is a last ditch effort for the birth father to use his rights as a biological parent. On Wednesday, this personal ad will be published for the last time. If he does not show up in court or contact the judge. he automatically loses his rights. It is a sad situation for Macrina. I was watching a DATELINE special a couple of nights ago on a birth father who did not know he was a birth father. Once he found out he was a father, he sued to have custody of the baby a year later (even though his rights had be terminated). I feel an ounce of guilt that Macrina's birth father may not even know she exists. Macrina's birth mother did not even know that she gave birth to a daughter. This is what we call in the adoption world a completely closed adoption. There is one more potential birth father, yet it is looking like a dead end road.
That brings us to the service plan. Our agency helps us set up a plan for Macrina's future. We have to read several books on topics ranging from prenatal drug use to attachment issues in adoption. We have to write a book review of each book. Then we have to set-up a trans racial plan for Macrina. This is where things get tricky. It is obvious that Macrina is not fully Caucasian. We just do not know what race she is. Somehow we have to develop a plan to celebrate her ethnic race, yet nobody is sure what that race is. This is going to be tough for Macrina to deal with someday. We all have the question: who am I? Macrina may never know a major part of her life story. There will be just a void always sitting there in her heart.
As part of the service plan, we have to address substance abuse used by the birth mother. There was substance abuse by the mother, but this is not the time and place to talk about specifics. We are filled with optimism, yet cautious about issues that may come up later.
The best part of the service plan is that we get to put together a Life Book. This is a scrapbook that recalls her life from the beginning. Maureen has already started the Life Book and I know that it will be a special part of Macrina's life as she gets older.
So here we go. Finalization is within our sights. We are so close.

Tim Tebow Meets the Son of God

2011-12-18T09:04:00.000-08:00

Tim Tebow meets the Son of God live from Saturday Night Live!

Staying Strong When Old in Youth Ministry

2011-12-16T10:39:00.000-08:00

Mark Oestreicher, the youth ministry guru formerly from Youth Specialties has some cool new adventures with his new company, the Youth Cartel. His blog, whyismarko.com is still an excellent resource when it comes to conversations about church, ministry, and family. On a recent post, he reflects on a response letter he wrote concerning longevity in youth ministry. He wrote ten (actually 12) things that we as youth workers can do to sustain sanity in this thing called youth ministry. Many of these have become reality for myself as I surpass 19 years working with youth:

1. embrace humility. ask people to hold you accountable to this.
2. have intentional conversations with youth workers who have stayed in one church for 10 years or more. seek their input.
3. make a list of the reasons why longevity is valuable. pull it out and read it from time to time.
4. get over yourself. you are not god’s secret weapon or only option.
5. ruthlessly develop intimacy with jesus. only when you are deeply connected with jesus will you be able to set aside your ego and weather the temptations to move on.
6. remind yourself regularly that your calling does not come from people, but from god.
7. decide how you will measure your success. bad measures of success = a big program, lots of ego strokes, buzz, impressive numbers. good measures of success = the faith of former teenagers when they’re in their 20s or 30s (and only longevity allows you to really see that).
8. consider the cost to your church, the teenagers you serve, your family, and your own soul of constantly looking over the fence for something “better”.
9. eschew power. power corrupts your calling, and falsely inflates your sense of importance.
10. value faithfulness over influence.
oh, and #11: cultivate a life outside of youth ministry
how about an even dozen? #12: be ruthless about establishing and honoring a sustainable rhythm of silence and solitude.

Here are some of my personal notes:

1. This is maybe the most essential part of making it through the first five years
2. I never had a "mentor" or model for youth ministry. When I was young, nothing was intentional unless it made me look better. I am still looking for older mentors to share wisdom about ministry and what it means to be a leader in the church.
3. I have never made this list.
4. I think I got over myself as a savior of kids when I was working part-time as a youth pastor at a church in SE Portland while I finished seminary. I worked with a group of students who challenged and humbled. I never could have survived that time if not for the grace and power of God.
5. I have had moments of this intimacy with Jesus. I don't know if I would describe it as intimacy.
6. See #4
7. After a decade of ministry, it is so true that the fruits of labor are part of seeing young people grow into young adults. Leading weddings has been one of the greatest ways to celebrate "success."
8. I have to admit, I looked for something better each and every year I have served. Fortunately, doors were closed and I was kept in churches where I needed to be. I tried bigger churches, but I was never qualified. Not being qualified for bigger churches is my new badge of honor.
9. Power is a deadly thing is this business. In the hands of a 20-something it can be down right scary. In the hands of a 30-something it is down right confusing. In the hands of a 40...oh wait, I have until July to finish that sentence.
10. I love this quote...it is a solid nugget of truth
11. Yes, getting married and having children is one of the greatest things that can happen to anybody. It should force youth workers to shift priorities and schedules.
12. I love being alone..I love walking alone..I love walking alone when it is silent.

Musings from Council Meetings

2011-12-14T04:02:00.000-08:00

Church council meetings are fairly entertaining at times. Last night is a prime example. A request was made from our worship committee regarding church hymnals. Apparently, some individuals from the committee (whose average age is about 65) think we need some newer versions of our hymn book. Now consider the fact that our church has the lyrics to songs projected on the big screen every Sunday. We also have a ton of hymnals and a few people still use them. Now, our church has received 100 hymnals from a church that is "reinventing" itself. Our committee wants to pay the church $600-$800 for the hymnals as if we are paying for newer books. The discussion was fascinating to watch. The tensions of technology versus tradition were in full effect. These are the discussions that we should be having. Sooner than later, a participant (notice I didn't say member), can download each song and read it off their I-tablet in super time. I love books and I and still holding back from getting an e-reader, yet as the church we need to think outside the box while holding on to the traditions that can exist through all eras. Unfortunately, the hymn books cannot. No wonder that every pastor wants to start a church plant. Any new pastor who is fairly young has to maneuver through these discussions without much support. What did we decide? We are going to give the church $200.00 for new hymnals that we are not even going to use. It is the budget, so there is not too much of a loss. Now, how do we get younger participants on these worships teams?

Open Letter to A Younger Me

2011-12-12T07:11:00.000-08:00

This little "fake" letter is not meant for anybody specific. Maybe it is meant for myself when I was 24 years old and applying for my first full-time youth gig. It is more of a reaction to what happened to me over the last 48 hours.

Dear Brother/Sister.

You may think this is the greatest day of your life. You know everything there is to know about youth ministry. You understand youth. Heck, you are a youth. You have the best ideas. You are a great speaker. You are humorous. You know what this church needs to attract young people. Students love you. They flock to you no matter where you go. You have 'it." Wow, you had over 30 people come to the church for an event...impressive! The problem is that you do not really know that much and you are not that impressive. Do not buy all the hype. This is how people act in emotional moments. We all overreact. Many of these people will not remember your name twenty years from now. Look at your schedule this week. Is their a waking moment when you are not spending time with youth? Listen to me carefully: start to look beyond all this. All of this will fade. You will get older, slower, and even uncool. Someday, you may be fortunate enough to meet someone, someone that will make you want to leave all this and run away..that is a good thing. We need people in our lives to remind us that we can be loved for more than what we do. We can be loved beyond this thing called youth ministry. Then one day you will have a child of your own. At first, you think it is a great thing for the youth group and your career. Your students love little kids. The problem is that you will lose time to do all those mission trips, over night lock-ins, and retreats. The best lesson you can give students is to say simply, "NO." My family is way more important than all of this. Someday, they will understand. Someday, you will understand when you overwhelm your family with your schedule. In that moment, you will be drawn to tears as you drive home and say to yourself: I AM NOT THAT IMPRESSIVE. I AM NOT THE ANSWER OR THE SAVIOR. I AM A PETTY PERSON WHO CAME INTO YOUTH MINISTRY BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE LOVED, BY SOMEONE...ANYONE. My wife loves me unconditionally. She does not care if I retire soon from this craziness. She understands why I take it all too seriously. So step back for a moment this morning and think about all that you have done (not much) and what you are going to do. Humble yourself in the sight of God, take a deep breath, and enjoy the next twenty years of your life. Each person you meet will change you and you will change them.

Peace of Christ to You

My Favorite of 2011: Music

2011-12-10T11:06:00.001-08:00

Alright, here it. After hours of listening to a ton of music, these are the albums that will remind me of all that is good in 2011.What are some of your favorites?

10. THE CIVIL WARS- Barton Hallow
I wrestled back and forth with this record all year. It has been on a ton of top lists for the year and I did not want to put it on just because everybody else liked it. What makes it great: SIMPLICITY!

9. CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH- Hysterical
What a great follow-up to the odd SOME LOUD THUNDER. Each song has a great ebb and flow and the rhythm on each son is perfection. Like other CYHSY albums, I still have no idea what the lyrics say.

8. KEROSENE HALO- Kerosene Halo
Add Mike Roe from the 77's with Derri Daugherty from the Choir and you have the incredible vocal stylings of Kerosene Halo. The album is a collection of cover songs from Tom Waits, Daniel Amos, Bonnie Rait, Billy Joel, and some of their closest friends.

7. THE LONELY FOREST- Arrows
This is most definitely the most pop sounding album on my list. This Northwest crew's debut took me for a surprise. Every song has been stuck in my head for days.

6. THE MOUNTAIN GOATS- All Eternals Decks
Fantastic songwriting along with cryptic apocalyptic lyrics make for an amazing album. A much different vision than past albums.

5. WE WERE PROMISED JETPACKS- In the Pit of a Stomach
This is the first rock and roll album to appear on the list. This Scottish quartet brings the energy and guitars at volumes turned up to epic "11." I had to have at least band from the UK on the list, right?

4. TV ON THE RADIO- Nine Types of Light

You can't stop this Brooklyn based band. They continue to evolve and make great innovative music. Even with the tragic loss of one member, they created a more funky version of themselves.

3. WILCO- The Whole Love
This album is the whole love plus the kitchen sink. This is Wilco playing as a great band (not just Jeff Tweedy). They pull all kinds of sounds from past albums. They sound a little like Dylan and little like Tom Petty sometimes. All the while, you hear squeeks and gurgles in your headphones. This is their best work since A GHOST IS BORN.

2. MUTE MATH- Odd Soul

One of my favorite bands has come back with a vengeance in 2011. They lose their lead guitarist and they almost break-up on the way to this funky jam session of an album. It is as if they were set free to play whatever they wanted. The results are stunning.

1. ELBOW- Build A Rocket Boys
Mysterious, magical, textured, haunting...these are just some of the words to describe the new album from this UK band. "LIPPY KIDS" is most definitely my favorite song of the year

Graham Hill: Editing Our Lives

2011-12-10T08:44:00.001-08:00

As a part of the amazing TED leadership speaking series, Graham Hill gives us a new way at looking at all the stuff in our lives. It doesn't take an expert to see that we have too much space and it is filled with a bunch of stuff. A garage is rarely used to put your car in to. Renting storage space is a lucrative business. Hills challenges us to "edit" things in our life. Trim down the excess. We can still have stuff. We just need stuff that matters. This is a concept that can cross over into our churches. Should we edit all of the massive budgets and programs (not edit the Gospel, but enhance it)? Watch this short clip from Hill and be challenged this holiday season!

Updates from a Sleep Deprived New Father

2011-12-07T10:29:00.001-08:00

The last few days have brought more than enough thoughts to share. I will break down my ideas in short little blurbs for now:

* Ironically, when I need it most, our X-Box Live Gold Membership expired last night while we were watching the OFFICE. That means no NETFLIX. I don't know how I will survive. We asked for a new membership on my Christmas list, so it doesn't make sense to renew it on our own. That means, at least, two weeks of watching television while feeding the baby in the middle of the night.

* I am still not quite in the mode for NBA basketball. There is still so much uncertainty with the Blazers current roster. It is exciting and scary. We will see at the first preseason game on the 19th.

* Macrina has as many strollers as we have vehicles. I think she might have more clothes than we do. Welcome to the new world...a very pink world!

* Our dog, Daisy, is really struggling with the new baby. She has been licking and scratching herself to the point where there is bloodshed. Maureen put this tiny 30 Hour Famine sweatshirt on her to keep her from reaching her chest. I wish I had pictures. Let's just say it is light Navy Blue on a dog with dark fur. I know, it makes me smile too.

* Everybody in our church wants to know about a baby shower and we don't quite know what to tell them. We have decided to wait until this whole thing is finalized before we have any more showers. That does not quite keep them from asking.

* In regards to finalizing, we are waiting on two things to past. I can tell you that we have published for a "birthfather" who does not have a name or a face. If he does not respond to the ad, he has relinquished all and any rights he may have had. By the way, the birthmother has already relinquished her rights. She has also decided not to participate in an open adoption. There is one more little messy thing we have to get by before she can be officially ours. I will talk more about this issue, when we have passed that hurdle.

* One more thing: being a father is one of the most rewarding experiences out there. I just feel a peace that was not there before she came. Call it the Holy Spirit or call it intuition. I just love being a dad!

Youth Ministry and Emerging Church Movement

2011-12-05T10:37:00.001-08:00

It is official. I am currently sleep depraved. Yesterday was a a crazy day of ministry. I led an excellent adult class on Early Church Patriarchs. Then I had lunch with a couple of students at Carl's Jr (what make a burger, "western?"). After a short nap, I set up for a wild youth group night of making holiday cookies. Last week, I read this insightful article about Tony Jones and a thesis he gave about the "emergent church" movement. This terms means about a hundred things to about a hundred people. People either get too nervous or too excited when it comes to the movement. Jones has a theory that emerging churches are just by-products of the modern youth ministry model. They are made up of former youth pastors who were asked to create a separate ministry for younger people. That model soon gave way to a host of new churches that look and smell like youth ministry from the 90's. Many evangelical leaders are offended at the thought that the roots of a movement they despise actually is product of a system they first created. Why do you think so many former youth pastors leave their jobs and plant a church? It is the "go to" move for youth pastors. Many of these church plants are made up of...wait for it...youth! Take away the messy games and weekend retreats. It is all still relational. And that is alright with me. It might be the best thing for the post-modern church. Meanwhile, there are many mainline evangelical churches looking for life support for anywhere. It is a fascinating turn of events. This could be part of the theological "rummage sale" that Phillis Tickle refers to in her fantastic book, THE GREAT EMERGENCE.

To read more about Jones and his thesis, click HERE

Random Things Keeping Me Busy This Week

2011-12-02T07:34:00.001-08:00

It is painfully obvious that changes in my life are currently keeping me from blogging on a regular basis. The main reason: there is a one month old in the house. The last few days, I have volunteered to feed the baby when I am home including through the nights. My wife needed (and deserves) a little break. So my sleeping schedule is awry. Also, I have been struggling with my bruised ribs. A few weeks ago, I was in a collision with a high school student on the basketball court. One more excuse is a busy week at work. Tis the season for all of us in ministry to stay bust. This morning will be my second visit to the doctor this week. My cholesterol results were less than flattering. We are looking at a new plan to keep my levels stable. That is my week in a nutshell. Listen to the parents that tell you that a child changes everything. It really does.

Something to Think About During Holiday Frenzy

2011-11-27T21:20:00.001-08:00

I love the whole message of this video:

Small Interruption. Huge Impact. from The Work Of The People on Vimeo.

Favorite Albums #24: POOR OLD LU- Sin

2011-11-26T11:16:00.001-08:00

The Seattle scene in the 90's was the place to be both as an overall cultural experience of the times and, of course, music.. The music scene was made up of posers and authentic artists. Like much of Christian culture, there were a ton of imitation "Christian" bands that sounded like Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and Soundgarden. I hate to admit that I bought much of what they had to sell. Then there was POOR OLD LU, the incredible band led by the genius of Aaron Sprinkle. Their second album, SIN, was an eye opening experience of a "christian" band with the ability to be something great. During my early 20's, this was the album that helped me to see my own sin and the reality that I always fall short of perfection.

Let the Games Begin!

2011-11-26T02:19:00.001-08:00

Click on Link Here

With the new addition to our family I totally forgot about the millionaires and billionaires fighting over more money in the NBA. Ironically, on BLACK FRIDAY somebody must have received a deal without having to camp on store sidewalk.

Favorite Albums #25: REM- Automatic for the People

2011-11-23T08:19:00.001-08:00

AUTOMATIC FOR THE PEOPLE is a peak moment in the lives of the band both professionally and artistically. It was was commercial success, yet it maintained a level of integrity in its music videos and songwriting. There is not a bad track on this record.

Adopting Pets

2011-11-21T15:08:00.001-08:00

Both our cat, Onzlo and our dog, Daisy are adopted pets from a shelter. We both believe strongly in adopting pets from shelter who need a good home. The people at the SHELTER PET PROJECT have created some hilarious PSA ads. These two pretty much describe our amazing pet companions.

Bruised Ribs and Lack of Sleep: Another Year at CPYA

2011-11-21T05:25:00.001-08:00

At this moment, I am in a great deal of pain and I am having a difficult time raising my arms up so this update will be short. This weekend, our youth group headed down south to CPYA (Cascade Presbytery Youth Assembly). I have been to about eleven of these events over the past twenty years. The event itself has not changed much. I have had a love/hate relationship with CPYA. I love the time that is spent in the free time (which is little) with students. Many might be might be wondering why I left home with a brand new baby in our family. I did it because I love these young people. I have a fantastic senior class that has been with me for awhile. I was playing basketball with some of my students and had a little accident. My aggressive student and I collided and instantly I knew that something was wrong with my ribs. There is no doubt that my ribs are injured and that I need some further medical advice. For sure, I have a deep bruise on my rib cage. My wife thinks that I should file a workman's compensation case. Is basketball a hazard of my job?

Favorite Albums #26: LOVEDRUG- Everything Starts Where it Ends

2011-11-18T06:44:00.001-08:00

LOVEDRUG is that band that is incredibly talented that nobody has heard about. Their second album, EVERYTHING STARTS WHERE IT ENDS is a masterpiece of darkness, hope, and religion. Religion is discussed and not always in a good light. Michael Shepherd has that voice that sounds exactly the same on recording as it does live (that is a good thing). My hope is that this amazing band will get a chance to put on more material soon.

Great Television: FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

2011-11-17T18:38:00.001-08:00

With late nights feeding a baby, I have been privileged to watch the full FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS series on Netflix. It is simple, yet complicated. It is subtle, yet in your face. As a person who has worked with you for awhile it does an excellent job of portraying young people in high school. It is inspiring and well written. You do not have to love football to love this classic TV series. I was near tears during the pilot episode. Here is the promo for the series finale:

Favorite Album #27- FAIR- The Best Worst Case Scenario

2011-11-17T11:54:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite album titles along with MODEST MOUSE's GOOD NEWS FOR PEOPLE WHO LOVE BAD NEWS. Aaron Sprinkle is well represented on the list with two bands: FAIR and POOR OLD LU. With FAIR, Sprinkle takes on the lead singer role with strength and passion. This collection of songs about loss and redemption is also unusally catchy. But it is the songwriting that really makes this a gem. The song, MONDAY is one of the greatest songs written in the 2000's.

Blogging Put on a Hold

2011-11-17T11:50:00.001-08:00

I am not going to share much personal things on the blog for awhile until some of this storm clears. The storm is a legal one and it is a huge mess. We are clearly upset and very, very confused right now. I will update my favorite albums and less pressing topics. Please keep us in your prayers today!

Favorite Albums #28: Everclear- Songs From an American Movie Part 1

2011-11-15T02:43:00.001-08:00

This album was part one of two albums dealing in America. This first installment was the more positive look at finding hope. These songs are stories of poverty, drug use, and illicit sex. They are also stories of finding reasons to smile every day. This is a perfect slice of life in America.

Favorite Albums #29: THE CHOIR- Free Flying Soul

2011-11-14T08:11:00.001-08:00

This album will be forever called the "animal album." With songs about birds, monkeys, dogs, and butterflies, the Choir takes major metaphoric steps to connect our faith in everyday animals. Who else could perfectly describe total depravity with the metaphor of a chicken cutting your arm? The Choir follows a long line of great song writing in the 1990's.

Favorite Album #30: REM- Document

2011-11-13T07:31:00.001-08:00

DOCUMENT is the perfect blend of all that makes the late, great REM so easy to listen to. It has striking vocals, haunting lyrics, and well thought out songs. Lead singer, Michael Stipe shines in this breakthrough album''

6 Years With the Greatest Person in the World

2011-11-12T19:03:00.001-08:00

Today, I celebrated with my wife our sixth wedding anniversary. My parents watched our daughter while we went out for a nice seafood lunch and a trip to Costco ( to pick up formula in bulk). Here is to the love and partner for life!

Favorite Albums #31: JARS OF CLAY- Much Afraid

2011-11-11T05:29:00.001-08:00

Jars of Clay have been the darlings of Christian music for almost fifteen years. They brought something to the industry it sorely lacks: talent and integrity. With their second album MUCH AFRAID, there was a major shift away from the huge debut album musically. These songs were more about relationships and the brokenness in us all. It is a album about sin and what it does when it eats away at our soul. This is one of the more "real" albums I have in my collection.

Random Thoughts of All This

2011-11-10T05:15:00.001-08:00

I am still trying to figure out this whole thing (fatherhood, adoption, sleep etc.) Here are so random observations from my perspective:

* When people find out you are a new dad, they all ask the same thing: "Are you getting sleep?"

* Speaking of sleep, having a newborn and having shorter days because of Daylight Savings is not a good combination.

* I have watched hours and hours of the television shows, WINGS and FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS sitting up with the baby at all hours.

*There are so many people that are coming up to talk with me who never spoke a word to me at church. Babies are the ultimate connectors in our society.

* People seem to like Macrina's name better than I thought. I was a little worried.

* Speaking of worried, I have stayed up late listening to every coo, sound, and cough. I keep checking to see if my daughter is alive because she sleeps so much at this age.

* I have seen all of my family in a whole new way. Babies also bring families closer together.

* The dog had a playful night with the youth group last night. She wants our attention so bad that she keeps bringing a new toy up to us when we come home.

* I cannot figure out how to keep a baby bib on.

* We begin posting posting on Friday. That means that we are legally obligated to put a notice in Washington to notify the potential birth father. It is just a random ad and it sounds very awkward. It is the smallest of percentages that anybody comes forward. Thirty days after this is published, she is officially ready to be ours. I am still nervous.

* I adore this picture with the High School group. They have been a constant part of joy and hope in my life over these last three years. This picture will be put somewhere in Macrina's memory book, for sure.

Favorite Albums #32: LIVING COLOUR- Vivid

2011-11-08T10:11:00.000-08:00

When I was in high school, I was stuck in what was the moral way to listen to music as a Christian teen. I was a frequent listener of pop music on the radio and I attended many concerts of popular artists of the 80's. Then I listened to LIVING COLOUR'S debut album in my tape player. There was a curious fascination with a rock band that was made up of black musicians. To many white listeners, they were a novelty of sorts. They are so much more. It was the first rock band that talked about social and political issues. This album has aged well and is still a favorite on road trips. Vernon Reid is a rock god in my humble opinion. He makes sounds out of a guitar that just don't make sense.

Favorite Albums #33: DEREK WEBB- She Must and Shall Go Free

2011-11-06T06:44:00.000-08:00

I took a class in seminary about ecclesiology (study of the church). During one class session, the professor played the song, THE CHURCH by Derek Webb. I was blown away by this straight forward love letter to the church. In fact, SHE MUST AND SHALL GO FREE as a record is a conversation between the people of the church and God. This album has helped me fall back in love with a body that is broken, sinful, and sometimes evil. Ever since, Webb's music has been a major contributor to my faith journey. This is is best work, by far.

More pictures

2011-11-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

Favorite Album #34: RADIOHEAD- Kid A

2011-11-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

Radiohead released the amazing OK COMPUTER with much adoration from fans and critics alike. How do you follow-up this new unique sound? You release an album like KID A. This album took me several years to appreciate. It is the ultimate soundtrack for a new era in music.

Ok, here is a Picture

2011-11-03T22:29:00.000-07:00

So here is a picture of Macrina from last Halloween....I know, she is adorable!

Favorite Albums #35: BAND OF HORSES- Everything All the Time

2011-11-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

There is a melancholy feeling that comes with the music of BAND OF HORSES. I always feel like I should be driving on a dirt road along a swift river. This is the album that contains the incredible track, FUNERAL. This is certainly one of the great debut albums I have ever heard.

Lawyers, Publishers, and Agencies..Oh My!

2011-11-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

I learned much about myself today. It seems I am either clinically depressed or just plain angry as this adoption process continues. It might be a type of post adoption depression that comes when you finally get what you wanted for so long. It might be the anxiety caused by all the little walls that keep posting up between us and finalizing this adoption. This has been a case where the lawyers have the been the heroes (for once). We have not met in our lives a more supportive group of people than the adoption lawyers who have taken the time to advise us through the journey. Now, we wait for the posting to be published, required because nobody knows who the birth father is. This has to be posted in local publications for 30 days while we wait. There isn't much to worry about, but it is still a pain to wait until things are official. It doesn't help when people at the church just say dumb things when the moment clearly says: please just let them enjoy themselves.On a side note: I finally had a heart to heart talk with our case manager. With all these feelings of anxiety and depression, someone was bound to receive the wrath of adoption dad. I have never quite experienced so many emotions in one week. One week, wow my daughter is one week old today.

My Favorite Albums #36: OASIS- What's The Story

2011-11-03T08:46:00.000-07:00

So I have a little time with a new baby to update my countdown. We stayed out first night in our own home last night (didn't sleep too well) The British invasion reoccurred in the mid 90's with a host of modern bands sounding like a new (er) version of the Beatles. MORNING GLORY contains two to three of the best songs of that decade. It seems when the brothers Gallegher are fighting they compose their best music.

The End of The Journey (sigh..)

2011-10-31T14:49:00.000-07:00

As many of you know by now..the end is here..the end of a three year journey through hell and high water. On Saturday afternoon, we left a hospital in Silverdale, WA with our newborn daughter, Macrina Kellie. It has not had a chance to sink in yet. We literally received a call Friday morning to come up and pick up our daughter. We walked around the house in daze, bought a new camera (my broke on Wednesday), stopped off at Fred Meyers and made the three hour drive north. All of this happened so fast..it happened in a perfect way. The weekend has not been without its bumps and bruises. We are currently crashing at my best friend's place in Mt. Vernon, WA (our baby took her first boat ride on a ferry after only 15 minutes in a car. ). We are not allowed to cross back into Oregon with our new baby until the paperwork is all processed. That has not been easy today (Monday). There is more to share with you but the baby is crying ( I love saying that) More to come...Praise God to whom all blessings flow...

Favorite Albums #37: U2- Unforgettable Fire

2011-10-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

Before U2 became a household name with the JOSHUA TREE they released the more subtle and political UNFORGETTABLE FIRE. The album has not aged as well as others, yet it still brings deep emotional feelings to me when I listen through it. There is where Bono, vocally began to shape that classic voice.

Four Hours and Just Missed

2011-10-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

At 4:30pm this afternoon I received a voice mail from Maureen. A woman had given birth to a baby girl yesterday and she wanted to give it in adoption. The baby was born in Seattle. We were asked if we wanted to show out book to her so she could make a decision by 8:30pm tonight. We thought we would give it a shot. The parents that were picked would have to drive immediately to the hospital. Now, it is almost 9:30pm and we have accepted out fate. We missed that train again. It was a strange four hours to think we would driving up to Seattle to pick up our baby daughter or we would be living the same life we have tried living the last three years. There was excitement and even some tears as I drove home. I watched an episode of FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS and it ended some parents looking straight into the eyes of their newborn daughter. Ono of my favorite WILCO songs was playing in the background. A part of me thought: THIS IS IT! THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN. The realistic side of me said: No, this isn't going to happen anytime soon. We will just wait for the next train to pass by hoping it is the right one.

Jesus The Oringinal Zombie: Colbert Report

2011-10-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

What is funny about this clip was that I was just telling my middle schoolers a couple weeks ago that Jesus was like a zombie when he rose from the dead (I was kidding, of course). Maybe I will be celebrating Jesus-Ween this year. People are hilarious!

Favorite Albums #38: KING'S X- Manic Moonlight

2011-10-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

Many hardcore King's X, unfortunately put this gem low on their list of King's X faves. There are many reason to hate it. The band decided to experiment with drum looping and there are only nine full songs. Yet, it is by far the funkiest record the band has ever released. VEGETABLE is one of the great songs that King's X still plays live every time. The risk paid off, in my opinion, and we end up with MANIC MOONLIGHT.

(sorry about the poor video. There isn't much out there from this album on high quality).

Favorite Albums #39: EELS- Electro-Shock Blues

2011-10-25T23:31:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you are one of the most promising artists and suddenly you find out your sister has died (and you lost your father when you were younger)? You create one of the most beautiful and haunting albums about the subject of death. This is the melancholy side of "E" founding member, voice, and songwriter for Eels. The cover art says it all.

Going to Events and Students Do Nothing

2011-10-25T23:10:00.000-07:00

This evening, I had the chance to try and catch a soccer game of one of our high school students. She is a freshman at a local Christian high school which has only one female soccer team. It was out in SW Portland which is difficult to reach around rush hour, so I was about twenty minutes late. It turns out that it did not matter. The student I came to watch did not make it off the bench. It is a theme that has been happening to me a bunch this fall. What do you do as a youth pastor when you go to an activity and your student does not even leave the bench? More times than not, the student does not want to talk with you because he/she was hoping they would get in the game. You can't walk up to them afterwards and say: "Good game." It is fairly awkward when nothing happens. You can't leave early because there is always a chance they will get in the game even in "garbage time." I always try to stay until the final buzzer or whistle. I assume that the effort you make just being there communicates much to the student and his/her parents. I just wish I could actually watch students play a sport this fall.
One more thing: what is up with some of these soccer parents. Tonight, a parent began an argument with a field judge (not the head ref). The field judge was not having a good day, but the parent did not make it easy. She was rude and threatened him. What made it even more disheartening is that I see these kind of parents more at contests involving Christian schools. I what just sad to see people get that upset at their kid's game.

Favorite Albums #40: THIRD EYE BLIND- Third Eye Blind

2011-10-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

This nineties hip band had a string of hits in the late nineties before dropping off the face of the earth. Yet, they put together an album that defines all that is great about modern rock. The last sixteen minutes of this record are incredible.

All That You Needed To Know About Daylight Savings in under Seven Minutes

2011-10-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

My random web browsing brought me across this cool informational video about daylight savings. It has a freakeconomics slant to it. I am not a big fan of daylight savings as an Oregonian, by the way.

Favorite Albums #41: HOLD STEADY- Boys and Girls in America

2011-10-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

I had the honor of seeing the Hold Steady play live last Thursday. This album is a book of stories. These stories talk about drug use, rape, alcohol, and illicit sex. These songs also talk about redemption. They are the stories of young people, most living in the Midwestern United States. Craig Finn, the lead singer and primary songwriter has his own style of spoken word. He weaves together each song along with some of the most pure rock and roll on the planet. Thanks to Blake, once again, for this gem.

A Catholic Baptism

2011-10-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

Mo had the honor of serving as the godmother for her friend's new born daughter, Hannah at a baptism. This was no ordinary baptism. It was a Catholic baptism which comes with a bunch of fun traditions and symbols. First, there was a little boy being baptized at the same time. His name was Liam and his father said he was named after a rock star (Liam Gallegher from OASIS). We were impressed although I do not think the actual rock star is the best of namesakes. Meanwhile everybody, family and friends , gathered in the back next to the big baptismal
"pool." It is like a mini hot tub. The godparents play an active role in reciting prayers and lighting covenant candles. It is highly symbolic and I like it. It was awkward during the Lord's Prayer in that the Catholics do not say the last line starting with
...for Thins is the Kingdom." The true Protestants just revealed themselves. My wife was sharp enough to know when to end the prayer. As I viewed this short ceremony, I was reminded of my particular stance on infant baptism. I am not against it, I just do not think that our family will baptize our children (which goes against the beliefs of our denomination). We did decide that if the birth mother does ask that we baptize the child as an infant we would do it to fulfill her wishes. It seems like I am relaxing more and more when it comes to a birth mother's requests. Maybe I am losing my sense on entitlement to all that effects this baby that we may someday hold in our arms.

Favorite Albums #42: U2 Rattle and Hum

2011-10-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

This is the only soundtrack in my top 50. I will never forget when my friend Joey and I skipped class on a Friday to see RATTLE AND HUM on the big screen at the Eastgate Theatre (now a church). I was captured by U2 immediately and have been a fan ever since. Here is the opening track and scene from the movie, a cover of the Beatles' ,HELTER SKELTER.

Favorite Album #43- Radiohead- OK Computer

2011-10-22T07:38:00.000-07:00

This is one of three outstanding albums from Radiohead on my list. This was the album that took me the longest to appreciate. PARANOID ANDROID is an amazing composition of music and emotion.

Adoption Bootcamp

2011-10-21T08:37:00.000-07:00

Here is the day I was fearing. It has arrived in the mail in a clear pink sleeve. It is the training DVDs for our new adoption agency. Here they are, all eleven DVD's that I have to watch and evaluate. After watching each episode, I then have to answer a host of personal questions regarding issues in adoption. I told Mo, she would have to edit some of my comments because I have some fairly strong feelings with some of the philosophies of these agencies, especially how they handle adopting children of a different race (that is the last DVD). Here is my adoption boot camp. Training is in session for the next week.

Favorite Albums # 44: Five Iron Frenzy- Our Newest Album Ever Ever

2011-10-21T00:41:00.000-07:00

This is definitely my favorite album that falls in the ska category (Christian or not). This album reminds me of my glory days in youth ministry at the old MPC. FIF is one of the most entertaining live bands out there besides a lack of natural music talent. EVERY NEW DAY, the last track on the album is a prayer I try to live by day after day.

Favortie Albums #45- Toad the Sproket FEAR

2011-10-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

Toad the Wet Sproket are more known for the silly name then some of the best music to come out of early 90's. Glen Phillips is one of the great songwriters from that era. I listened to many of these songs driving back and forth to my job at the dam in the gorge.

You Might Live in Oregon

2011-10-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

Jeff Foxworhty (the comedian famous for "You might be a redneck" jokes came up with a list of some great antidotes about "You might live in Oregon." Oh, I love living in this beuatiful state with all of these unusual people. Here are a few of my favorites:

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in Oregon.

If you’ve worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon.

If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon.

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Oregon.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Oregon.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Oregon.

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Oregon.

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Oregon.

If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Oregon.

If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Oregon.

If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Clatskanie, Issaquah, Oregon, Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Oregon.

If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Oregon.

If you know that Boring is a city and not just a feeling, you live in Oregon.

If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Oregon.

If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Oregon.

If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Oregon.

Favorite Albums #46: PEAR JAM Vs.

2011-10-18T20:17:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much Blake for expanding my music library! I actually listened to this album back when it came out in the 90's but did not appreciate the incredible talent behind the music until my friend Blake gave me a lesson in Pearl Jam 101. REARVIEWMIRROR is one of the great songs of that era in music!

Little Boy Reaction to Empire Strikes Back

2011-10-18T12:23:00.001-07:00

Below is the infamous web video of the little boy watching the pivotal scene of the EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. If we all only shared this awe, shock, and wonder in all aspects of life.

Favorite Albums: #47 MODEST MOUSE- Good News

2011-10-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

Sad melodic lyrics with upbeat musical interludes. That is how to best describe Modest Mouse's classic, GOOD NEWS FOR PEOPLE WHO LOVE BAD NEWS. This is great Portland music for when it is pouring outside and you are feeling a little blue inside.

Favorite Albums: #48: Wilco A Ghost is Born

2011-10-17T07:38:00.000-07:00

After the huge success of YANKEE HOTEL FOXTROT, you would think that Wilco would keep it slow and low. That is not the case with this masterpiece.

Adoption: So How Much Does it Cost?

2011-10-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

There is much stress and pain in the whole adoption process. There are also different levels of loss. Some of the that loss is financial. Here is a breakdown of what a domestic adoption costs at our current adoption agency (we will be accepting donations later...he, he)

Application Fee    $300.00
Prep Class            $150.00
Home Study    $1,700.00
Fingerprint (one time) $15.00
Post Placement Reports    $1,500.00
Program Fee                       $6,000.00
Placement Fee (one child)   $18,000.00
Legal Fee (average, varies) $1,500.00

Grand Total to Adopt Infant: $29,165.00 (yes, that is in the thousands)

Favorite Albums: #49: Joan Osborne RELISH

2011-10-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

The only thing most know of this album and Joan Osborne was the hit song ONE OF US. There is so much more. Osborne delivers one of the most soulful performances of the last twenty years. The songwriting is mystical and raw. Once again, my wife introduced me to the fabulous album.

My Favorite Albums #50: OASIS- Defintely Maybe

2011-10-15T12:23:00.000-07:00

The last five months, I have been going through our entire library of music. As many of you know, I love making lists. A few years back, I listed my 100 favorite albums. Well, I have gone through a new extensive process and put together a new and improved list of my favorite 50 albums of all time. I won't say anything about each. I will let the music speak for itself. Our first selection is one of many bands NOT from the U.S. The album was introduced to me by my lovely wife and is one of her favorites.

#50. OASIS- Definitely Maybe (1994)

Tears and Hope

2011-10-14T11:30:00.000-07:00

Here is an amazing way for everybody to catch a glimpse of what it means to be us (Mo and I) and how we try and deal with this thing called infertility. Please take the time to watch it. It comes from the Tears and Hope project. To view the video, click HERE.

Empty Seats, Empty Feeling

2011-10-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

You can feel it. Fall is in full swing. The rainy season is definitely here in the Northwest. The leaves are beginning to fall by massive amounts upon the lawn. College football is in full swing. But there is something wrong. Something is missing. I have all this free time. I have not been on the MAX train yet to Lloyd Center. There is not NBA. There are no Trailblazers to talk about. When it is Blazer season time, our whole household is on hold. It is unusual for me to miss games on television. I am glued to talk radio with discussions of new trade ideas. I play NBA 2k games on the XBOX 360. Right now...nothing! Physically and mentally there is a void. The Blazers always distract me from the adoption adventure. It looks like I will have to find another outlet. The seats are empty and my attention is available.

My Name is Curtis and I am A INFP

2011-10-13T19:58:00.000-07:00

Last night, the high school youth and I had a fun time trying to over analyze each other. In other words, we brought out the Myers-Briggs personality inventory. I am sure that the majority of my readers are familiar with the test and its interesting perspectives on identity. Like Luke Skywalker above, I am an INFP (introvert, intuitive, feeler, perceiver). People like to portray us as the ultimate idealist or healer. We are deep feelers who process everything internally. You might say that we are truth finders (or at least truth searchers). Basically, we live to help people live a better life. Even though we do not like conflict, we can make excellent mediators when others are dealing with conflict. We are not high maintenance when it comes to minute details, yet we are perfectionists when it comes to personal goals and projects. We take responsibilities and obligations very seriously. Usually, INFP make excellent writers (that remains to be seen) and musicians. Yes, there are many INFP pastors out there in the land. At 39 years old, I have accepted my personality fate. Now that is a little bit about me, how about you?

Number Being Called

2011-10-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

I have mentioned before that I frequent blogs of families that are waiting to adopt. Last week, one family that has been waiting for over three years had been placed with a new baby. Just today, another family that has been waiting for about two years was suddenly placed.It feels like being the last person being picked for teams during recess. The whole adoption thing has taken on a surreal feeling like it almost doesn't exist anymore. I now talk like it could happen, yet there is a possibility that it might not happen. I use the term: "...if we have a child." When will our number be called.

Morminism is Not A Cult

2011-10-11T15:57:00.000-07:00

Richard Mouw, the President of Fuller Seminary wrote an excellent response to the evangelical following that is asking Christians not to vote for Mitt Romney as our next President because he is Mormon. Oh yeah, and apparently Mormons all belong to a cult. Mouw writes that he cannot disagree more. He writes:

"These folks (Mormons) talk admiringly of the evangelical Billy Graham and the Catholic Mother Teresa, and they enjoy reading the evangelical C.S. Lewis and Father Henri Nouwen, a Catholic. That is not the kind of thing you run into in anti-Christian cults.
So are Mormons Christians? For me, that’s a complicated question."

To read the full article, click Here

By the bare bones definitions of Christianity, I would say that Mormons have the right to call themselves Christian. From there, I agree with Mouw. It is complicated. It is good to hear that both side, evangelicals and Mormons are part of these discussions. Next thing you know they will say that Catholics are not Christian...oh wait...

Monday Music Musings: Wilco

2011-10-10T07:56:00.000-07:00

Here is some classic WILCO from their album SKY BLUE SKY. Just sit back and enjoy!

Adoption Update: Paperwork and More Paperwork

2011-10-09T16:50:00.000-07:00

Did I mention that my wife is a saint? She has officially being ordained to the post because of the extra work she has put into working with this new adoption agency. The amount of paper work we have to read through must be from a redwood forest (it is a load of paper). There is legal statement for every possibility possible in the adoption process. If we are in a plane crash on the way to adopt a child in another state, our families cannot sue the agency. It is that picky! My wife has been through every sheet of paper they could give her. She installed new smoke detectors in the house in rooms a child might be sleeping in. She printed out escape plans in case of fire. She posted these escape plans throughout the house. Most of you would not pass the test as parents if you had to run through all these hoops. You have to love a legal based country like this one. Yesterday, we needed one more person to help us make the whole thing official...wait for it...the NOTARY. That is right, we had to have every document we were signing to be notarized. We went to a local "other" bank (our home bank has us a little irked with its new fees). The nice lady after fifteen minutes of reading everything, went ahead and gave us, yet another, seal of approval. At this point we could do just about anything under the legal limits. There is nothing else left to hide. Now we wait.

Breaking Records, Keeping Busy

2011-10-06T10:24:00.000-07:00

I have always preached that fall is the busiest season for youth ministry workers. My season this year is no exception. People often wonder what I actually do all day at work. They figure I just show up for youth group events that just magically are put together with five minutes to go. Let's go through my schedule yesterday (Wednesday):

8am: leave for church to pick up material

9am: meet with deacon to plan out details of FAITH IN ACTION event this weekend

10:30am: feed my parents' cats while my folks are out of town

10:45am: go to Fred Meyer's (at least once a day, ever day). Pick up supplies for Kids' Club kick-off in the afternoon

11:00am: set up stations for Kid's Club olympics. Set up kitchen for snacks.

11:45am: eat lunch at work while sending out e-mail for FAITH IN ACTION volunteers

12:30pm: go home and pick up more supplies for Kids' Club olympics

12:45pm: go back to Fred Meyer's to pick up some things I forgot

1:00pm:   check on final details for Kids' Club

2:30pm:   go to school and pick up students for Kid's Club kick-off. I bought snacks for 32 kids. We ended up with 42 kids. Thank goodness there were cookies left over from last weekend's High School Beach Retreat. This was the largest group I have ever worked with at any one single youth group meeting in my 19 years of ministry (a fact I am not too excited about, FYI).

3:20pm: I bring 15 kids with me around the church to play olympic type events. Three 2nd grade boys are all over the place and don't want to pay attention. I sometimes which I had a tazer gun in this job.

4:20pm: Parents come to pick up kids

5:00pm: After cleaning everything up (by myself), I leave for home

5:30pm: I play X-Box and take a nap

7pm:   High School students show up at my house for youth group. There are 9 students. One of our students has moved back from Boise and we have a little ROCK BAND session on the X-Box.

9:30pm: Last student leaves

10pm: Mo and I eat dinner

10:45pm: I bairly make it to bed for deep sleep

Gamer Nerds and Religious People (the same)

2011-10-04T20:01:00.000-07:00

This is so hilarious! The folks at COLLEGE HUMOR put together a commentary on how nerds and religious people have much in common. It is fun to laugh at oneself. It makes me wonder how funny we religious people are to those who are not religious. We must seem so loony.

Monday Music Musings; New Jack's Mannequin

2011-10-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

Great new video for TELEVISION by Jack's Mannequin. It is the kind of song perfect for Mondays. The HIGH SCHOOL RETREAT last weekend was great! The weather held up for us. I love working with the youth of this community at this point in my life.

Adoption

2011-09-28T21:37:00.000-07:00

I just don't get it. Some days I am just sick of the whole adoption thing. It seems like having two agencies doesn't work either. I am praying and hoping for a miracle because it will have to be the miraculous for anything to happen. For all the hope we had a month ago, tonight feels like the exact opposite. It looks like we will defy all the statistics that agencies lay out there.

Phyllis Tickle: I Am Not Afriad

2011-09-28T07:23:00.000-07:00

In the video below, Phyllis Tickle talks about the fear in death. Tickle continues to bring a refreshing and compassion theology to the table. She is the grandma of Christian theology. Click over the link:

Not Afraid Of Death from The Work Of The People on Vimeo.

Monday's Music Musings: Beck

2011-09-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

Here is some old-school Beck from his classic album, ODELAY. This is running through my MP3 player for a good portion of the this Monday. This is the kind of music you need to be in the mood for.

Musings from A Friday Night High School Football Game

2011-09-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many youth pastors actually like attending high school football games. When I was in Young Life, ages ago, it was the essential place and time to connect with teens. As an introvert, I found it stressful trying to engage with teens I did not know. That was nineteen years ago. Last night, the whole thing came back when I spotted (obviously) the Young Life leader at a local high school football game. He stood out that much among hundreds of people. He was a teen magnet with his bright blue Young Life shirt and his sales man pitch. "You should come to club." I do not miss those days at the high school football game. I did notice, however, that every middle schooler within two square miles was at last night's football game. Middle Schoolers are highly tribal. What I mean is that they walk around in large packs. It is difficult to maneuver through the massive sea of middle schoolers. I find it quite entertaining and humorous. When one guy runs through the stands, a whole herd runs through the stands. It is like running of the bulls.We are getting a little old so we actually left the game after halftime. It was already 9:30pm with a half to go. We did not interrupt the middle schoolers from our group who were there. They were surrounded by their tribe. We walked over to the student section and visited with a couple of students from the high school group. The conversation was not long, nor did we invite them to a bunch of activities. We just chatted. It was a strange experience that I do not miss much. At least it was over 60 degrees outside. The next home game is guaranteed to have rain and much cold temperatures. Trust me, I have been to many of these.

It's the End of REM as We Know Them

2011-09-22T10:04:00.000-07:00

One of the great bands that Maureen introduced me to has to be REM. They have some amazing albums and some not so amazing albums (the last few albums). Their impact on American music is fairly substantial. Here is a youtube tribute from all the fans trying to cover their classic, "It's the End of the World As We Know It." It is terrifying and hilarious at the same time.

700 miles..a Milestone

2011-09-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at 6:05pm I officially passed 700 miles walked in 2011. And it is only September. Maybe I can reach 1,000 someday. I have burned through two pairs of shoes and two MP3 players in the process.

Finding The Problem in the System (or How I Somehow Attended the Wrong Soccer Game)

2011-09-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

Many people are envious that I have Tuesdays off. They are envious that I have the much cherished weekday off. I had a plan for my day off today. And it almost worked. I made it to my early morning teeth cleaning (the dentist just loves my straight teeth). Then I started to work on the toilet. Oh wait, back up. Our toilet has been making that constant dripping sound the past couple of weeks. That sound means there is a leak somewhere. I headed to the store to pick up some supplies and went to work. One hour and a 1/2 later nothing was solved and my water bill is going to be bit higher next month. I had little time to walk 7 1/2 miles round trip to my parents house to feed the cats. I made it home just in time to clean up and head out to a high school soccer game...that does not exist. I have this issue with making plans to attend a student's game and when I arrive there is no one there. This time it was a bunch of 1st graders kicking a ball around. I was looking for a freshman girl's game. The day ended with a nice dinner with my sweetheart at favorite Chinese restaurant. I ordered the pork noodle. I always order the pork noodle. Now here is the end of my day off. The toilet is still out of order, I am exhausted from walking, somewhere in the city of Portland there was a soccer game I missed, and my tummy is full of lots and lots of noodles.

Monday Music Musings: Menomena

2011-09-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

Trying saying the title five times fast. This is Menomena (pronounced Menawmena). Their drummer is one of the best around. Oh yeah, and they are a Portland band. This is TAOS from their latest album. I love my wife for introducing me to such great music!

The Disappointing Things You Will Say

2011-09-18T13:48:00.000-07:00

Working in ministry can be a touchy occupation. Words by people trying to minister can so easily hurt others. Pastors become guilty parties easier than other church members. It was odd how I got in trouble this morning for something I said. One of my high school students (who is high level ADHD), turned around at the beginning of the service and exclaimed to me something. He was sitting right next to his parents. I just said a little something back that didn't seemed harmless. I thought it might be misinterpreted but I didn't think much about it. Then I had to be talked to later after church. It was quite silly, but it might be best that I don't talk much about it on the blog. It does go to show how sensitive people can be, especially when they see their child in any way upset. But this guy is a high school junior. Big questions to think about: "How do you react when people describe others as 'not-christian?'" I find the whole thing a little silly. Being 'christian' is not the essence of all humanity. In fact, some call themselves Christian, yet their beliefs don't seem to match up other Christians. When someone dies I can stand when people shake their head and say, " I can't believe they are living in hell now." Usually this is said without any other identity attached to this person. Being a child of God is for everybody. Being a Christian is not for everybody. Just don't put the label on a person unless it is the context of the conversation. That person has a name and a face. They are adored by God, even if they choose to turn the other way. Alright, I shed that off my back for now.

2011-09-17T08:29:00.000-07:00

With all this talk about heaven and hell, Rob Bell, and universalim, theologian Roger Olsen throws a zinger in the middle of it all. No matter what you think about his beliefs, Olsen is downright brilliant. He is also written the BEST book on the scope of Christian theology throughout history. Olsen titled his latest blog entry: IS HELL PART OF THE GOSPEL (READ ALL OF THIS OR DON'T READ AT ALL). I love the subtitle given the number of critics who criticize without reading entire books or documents of their adversaries. The Gospel, according to Olson, are the teachings of Peter and Paul in the book of Acts after Jesus ascended. He points out that this doesn't mean that hell does not exist, not did the disciples not believe in it. It just wasn't one of the main points of the "Gospel."Olson challenges people to see if they can imagine the Gospel without mentioning hell. It does not mean that hell does not exist. Instead it focusing on the life saving act of Jesus for our sins. Olson would say that hell is not the Gospel nor is it good news (I totally agree with that one). Olson even points out that he thinks that Karl Barth was a universalist. It is an interesting thought. Can a universalist believe in the purest form of the Gospel, because he/she does not believe in damnation? It is an interesting question? I do not have an direct answer, but it is something thought provoking to wrestle with. Before you start to judge what I believe, it might be good to just ask me. This article does not necessarily reflect all of my beliefs ( I don't think Barth was a universalist for example).To read the full article HERE.

Church Buildings

2011-09-14T08:22:00.000-07:00

As church leaders, we are obsessed with our buildings. We make up new rules to preserve the distinct features which make the church home to us. We set up capital campaigns to add multi-purpose buildings, annexes, and sound systems. These are all not bad things. In fact, some of these things keep some of our churches from getting that "old church smell" which still will not reveal its original source. If you want to see a passionate man (or woman if you are more mainstream), just talk about a building project for your church. Most church build because they relate it to the infamous line from my favorite movie of all time, FIELD OF DREAMS: "If you build it, they will come." But does a renovated church or even a brand new building bring in new people? Building projects are expensive. It is a philosophical question that has come to the forefront of new progressive churches. They are not building new buildings. They are resurrecting the old empty churches. Many of the old church buildings in my town are now either art galleries or restaurants. To build or not to build. An even deeper question, "Is the church a building?" Think about the times you use the word, 'church.' Are you referring to the totality of the Body of Christ or a building full of people on a Sunday morning? I mention all these things because we have a group of people in our church who are trying to renovate everything. They literally are going to knock down walls this Saturday with a group of volunteers. There are some logical reasons for their dreams. Some of our classrooms are really small. But then, someone says, maybe this will bring in new people. People looking for a new 'church' are really not looking for a fancy buildings with fancy programs, at least not in the long run. They are looking for community. Community is a word that has lost its power because of its overuse. A brand new nursery is pretty cool. Brand new paint looks fancy. But nothing can replace the power of Christ and the love of God one feels when they meet together as a community. I am not against changes to the building. If you can afford these changes without compromising your mission to the community, they are practical steps in the journey.

Monday Music Musings: Radiohead

2011-09-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

The band that changed all the rules of music in this era has to be RADIOHEAD. Their album, KID A is disheartening, poignant, and sad. There is nothing like it ever made. Here is a brilliant performance of the opening track, EVERYTHING IN ITS RIGHT PLACE.

9/11: Remembering and Moving On

2011-09-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

It is one of those days, many of us will never forget. "Where were you when you heard about the terrorist attacks of 9/11?" I will never forget that it was a Tuesday morning. I was living alone in an apartment in Tigard. I am an early riser and I had the sports radio station playing on the clock alarm just above my bed. The radio announcers sounded confused and in a panic. "A small plane has apparently hit the World Trade Center." Like many people, I was glued to my television for the next couple of hours. I watched live on television as the second plane hit the other tower. I just remember feeling like the world was coming to an end. It seemed like planes were crashing into everything everywhere. I was alone with nobody to talk with. I had to work that day. I was still a youth pastor at a church in SW Portland. I remember how unemotional the secretary at the church was. I remember the prayer service we had in the evening of 9/11. I remember how our church was packed with people the next Sunday. I remember trying to comfort a group of teens whose plans for the future took a hit with this devastating news. I remember talking with my brother. All he could think about was his family, especially his one-year old son. "What kind of world is my son going to grow up in?"

As I look back, I also look ahead. As a Christian, a human, and a U.S citizen I learned right away to move ahead. Certainly, this was a little easier since I lived so far from the events of that day. Today, I don't get caught up in memorials, ceremonies, or old news footage. This was not only a dark day for America. It was a dark day for humanity. The human heart has the capacity to cause so much damage to others. The wars of the Middle East since 9/11 have killed numerous people, including the innocent. Since that day, it is difficult to see hope. What am I going to do today? I am going to attend church with my family. I am going to start a Bible study with our High School group. I am going play mini-golf with middle school students. I will celebrate this day by just living life. I live with a hope that there is so much more than all this. There is a "not yet" on the horizon of our lives. God bless the pure of heart on this anniversary of 9/11.

Two Mothers..All Sorts of Barriers

2011-09-09T14:59:00.000-07:00

Over the past 24 hours, both of the agencies representing us have asked if we want to show our books to two potential birth mothers. One is 38 years old and the other is 18 years old. Needless to say, both cases screamed "worst case" to us with issues of substance abuse and mental illness. Between the two mothers there was the following:

* both birth fathers are addicted to drugs
*meth (both mothers)
* heroin
*cigarettes
*methadone
*bi-polar disorder
* clinical depression
*smoking (both mothers)
* alcohol abuse
*weed
* family history of schizophrenia
*family history of diabetes
* family history of bi-polar disorder(both mothers)
* ADHD
* family history of alcoholism

I don't write these things out to judge these women or their families. It is just heart-breaking how some lives have fallen apart so quickly. It is incredible how addiction and pain is passed on from generation to generation. It reminds us all that everybody has a story. Both of these women are trying to get their lives back together and they have a long road ahead. At least, they are looking for a better life for their unborn children. My wife and I want to help them out so bad, but we both feel that we can only handle so much (if we have a choice). Still, we both wonder if it is our calling to help these women. It is a sad, sad day in the adoption journey! In this process, we are not the only ones who feel lost and alone. In many ways, it is much easier for us. My prayers are with these two women tonight.

Winning the Spelling Bee and the BCS

2011-09-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

My father in law and I were discussing the mess that is college football yesterday. The whole thing is one big scandal. I still believe the BCS system of making the a bunch of money with bowl games is is seriously flawed. Here is a cute video that sums up my thoughts. What if we used the same system in a spelling bee?

What If Everything Worked Like BCS: The Spelling Bee from sanjeev tandle on Vimeo.

Heading Back Downstream

2011-09-06T16:17:00.000-07:00

My wife's parents are visiting us for a couple days on their way back from an Alaska cruise. They are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary (I could just write about them). Maureen had a great idea to go boating on the Tualatin River not too far from where we live. Maureen's parents shared a boat and we had a two person kayak. If you live in the Northwest, you know how beautiful a day it was on Labor Day. I feel bad for all the teachers and students who had to start up again today. We decided to paddle the boats upstream so it would be a little easier to end off on things downstream. The water was not moving very fast, so both directions were easy. On our journey upstream we paddled along a slow pace, looking at various forms of wildlife (a raccoon, a crazy dog who barked at water, and lots of ducks) and people (my father-in-law said he smelled weed being smoked by one gentleman on the bridge). But with any journey, we eventually need to head back downstream. We had paid our dues against the waters. Now it was time for smooth sailing. The trip back required some work on our part, but we knew that the end was near. The whole day was a metaphor for this journey into adoption. I don't know yet, for sure, if we are on the journey downstream. It feels like we might be with the latest news. As we were paddling back downstream, a couple lounging on a boat in the middle of the river noticed us paddling. A man mentioned, "You guys are really in sync." I replied, "We should be...we are married!" This journey has brought us closer together in a way that better prepares us for the rest of the journey. Maybe now we can have a time of smooth sailing.